I hope mine doesn't look like that
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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