In the future we'll all be gay
It's just like the Real World with babies
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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