I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
