I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
