just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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