oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
