I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
