I wanna bring you to show and tell
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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