its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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