Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize