I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
