i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
