just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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