If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i came on her dog
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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