he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
