i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
