you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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