We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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