Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
