that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
