An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
