yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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