Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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