I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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