apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
