just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize