theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
