I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
