So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize