There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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