After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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