we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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