I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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