she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
