Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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