A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
