all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
