At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
