His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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