return my video game
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
