are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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