why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Enjoy the penises
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
