physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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