id be glad to
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
