After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
