im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
