spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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