Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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