Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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