she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
