She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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