Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize