I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize