no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Drunk is not a location!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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