I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize