Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Randomize
