I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
