sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Every concussion has its silver lining
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
