I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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