Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
