no. you can't hotbox the world.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
