I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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