boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
