I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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