Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
