So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
