Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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