It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize