tell your sister to shave her snatch
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
