Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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